Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey
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- Create Date：2022-02-10 03:20:19
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Florence Williams
- ISBN：1324003480
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Summary
When her twenty-five-year marriage unexpectedly falls apart， journalist Florence Williams expects the loss to hurt。 What she doesn’t expect is that she’ll end up in the hospital， examining close-up the way our cells listen to loneliness。 She travels to the frontiers of the science of “social pain” to learn why heartbreak hurts so much and why so much of the conventional wisdom about it is wrong。
Searching for insight as well as personal strategies to game her way back to health， Williams tests her blood for genetic markers of grief， undergoes electrical shocks in a laboratory while looking at pictures of her ex， and ventures to the wilderness in search of awe as an antidote to loneliness。 For readers of Wild and Lab Girl， Heartbreak is a remarkable merging of science and self-discovery that will change the way we think about loneliness， health， and what it means to fall in and out of love。
Searching for insight as well as personal strategies to game her way back to health， Williams tests her blood for genetic markers of grief， undergoes electrical shocks in a laboratory while looking at pictures of her ex， and ventures to the wilderness in search of awe as an antidote to loneliness。 For readers of Wild and Lab Girl， Heartbreak is a remarkable merging of science and self-discovery that will change the way we think about loneliness， health， and what it means to fall in and out of love。
Reviews
Jennifer
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I listened to this book， which was a great format as Williams recorded many of her interviews， particularly on the science sections， but also some of her conversations with friends。 I found this book to be about more than divorce — though she approaches it from the lens of her own divorce， she goes far beyond in discussing the psychology of social connections and relationships， albeit mostly romantic ones。 I found it to be thoughtful， engaging and insightful。
Selene
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The Michael Pollan of heartbreak！ The weaving of memoir and science does not always work， but it really does here。 Florence Williams goes on an odyssey， testing out the latest scientific recommendations and therapeutics to heal her broken heart after the breakdown of her 30 year marriage， as well as a rafting trip that brings to mind Wild （and the Reese Witherspoon adaptation）。 Her interviews with the incredible and esteemed Helen Fisher alone makes this worth reading。 I listened to the audioboo The Michael Pollan of heartbreak！ The weaving of memoir and science does not always work， but it really does here。 Florence Williams goes on an odyssey， testing out the latest scientific recommendations and therapeutics to heal her broken heart after the breakdown of her 30 year marriage， as well as a rafting trip that brings to mind Wild （and the Reese Witherspoon adaptation）。 Her interviews with the incredible and esteemed Helen Fisher alone makes this worth reading。 I listened to the audiobook version and it was a real treat。 It felt more like a long form podcast， with actual audio clips of her journey and interviews， than a true audiobook。 。。。more
Kalle Wescott
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I read /Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey/， by Florence Williams:https://www。npr。org/sections/health-s。。。 I read /Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey/， by Florence Williams:https://www。npr。org/sections/health-s。。。 。。。more
Katie/Doing Dewey
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Summary: Fascinating science and engaging memoir， well blended！Science memoirs are rapidly becoming one of my favorite genres。 Like any something + memoir， I'm sure it could go wrong if the balance was off， but I found that both elements of this book were well blended。 The author has gotten a divorce， at her husband's instigation and after 25 years of marriage。 As she goes through the difficult grieving process， she tries a lot of different ways to approach her grief。 She takes on a multi-week， Summary: Fascinating science and engaging memoir， well blended！Science memoirs are rapidly becoming one of my favorite genres。 Like any something + memoir， I'm sure it could go wrong if the balance was off， but I found that both elements of this book were well blended。 The author has gotten a divorce， at her husband's instigation and after 25 years of marriage。 As she goes through the difficult grieving process， she tries a lot of different ways to approach her grief。 She takes on a multi-week， at times solo rafting trip。 She tries getting back into dating。 And， in one of my favorite parts of her story， she also does a lot of visiting scientists and learning about both how we grieve and how grief can impact the body。I really enjoyed this book。 A large percentage of it was memoir， so it's fortunate that I found the author's story and her voice engaging。 She came across as very open about her struggles， warm and self-deprecating in a funny way。 She also did a great job integrating the science into a chronological story of her divorce and the other efforts she made to help herself recover。 The science was fascinating from beginning to end。 Almost all of it was new to me and it was really incredible how much grief and trauma can impact biology。 I also appreciated the quotes she engaged with from authors。 It reminded me Leslie Jamison's The Recovering in that way。 Both felt like they were in conversation with their sources and made me want to go read all of those books too。 A new favorite。This review was originally posted on Doing Dewey 。。。more
Rhonda Lomazow
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Florence Williams share her sadness raw emotions after her husband leaves her。She thought their long marriage was fine but suddenly she discovers a letter of longing her husband has written another woman& then one day he is gone they are getting divorced。She shares her search for answers at times her desperate looking for a relationship。Atthe same time she shares her and others scientific research into love。I can not relate to her emotions almost desperation but I feel sad for her and at the sam Florence Williams share her sadness raw emotions after her husband leaves her。She thought their long marriage was fine but suddenly she discovers a letter of longing her husband has written another woman& then one day he is gone they are getting divorced。She shares her search for answers at times her desperate looking for a relationship。Atthe same time she shares her and others scientific research into love。I can not relate to her emotions almost desperation but I feel sad for her and at the same time admire her desire to find a new life。 。。。more
Laurie
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Full review coming soon to the blog。 Here are some passages I found interesting:"If you place someone who has suffered heartbreak in a brain scanner， parts of the brain light up that are very closely related to the parts that fire after receiving a burn or an electrical shock。""A survey of 43 million medical records in Denmark found that in the year following a romantic breakup， men between the ages of 30 and 65 experience a 25 percent increased risk of a heart attack， and women experience a 45 Full review coming soon to the blog。 Here are some passages I found interesting:"If you place someone who has suffered heartbreak in a brain scanner， parts of the brain light up that are very closely related to the parts that fire after receiving a burn or an electrical shock。""A survey of 43 million medical records in Denmark found that in the year following a romantic breakup， men between the ages of 30 and 65 experience a 25 percent increased risk of a heart attack， and women experience a 45 percent higher risk。""Almost nobody gets out of love alive。""oxytocin and vasopressin linked with feelings of attachment， so casual sex is not casual。""There is a less romantic， purely pragmatic reason for the health boost。 The single largest determinant of health in the US is wealth。 Married people are more likely to accumulate resources， afford good healthcare and insurance， and live in healthful environments。""Further busting the healthy-heterosexual-marriage myth， at least for women， is the fact that its benefits are unequally distributed。 The health boosts apply vastly more to men。""More recently， a large analysis of data from 6。5 million people in 11 countries found that people who are divorced are 23 percent more likely to die early than their married peers。""Wen the genders were reversed， male subjects poured four times more hot sauce into their partners' containers。 As the researchers noted， the gender discrepancy might just reflect a portion-control issue for dudes， but it's also consistent with the fact that men are far more violent in relationship conflict， with over half of all American female homicides committed by vengeful men。""What the team found， like Helen Fisher's group a year earlier， were fireworks in the dorsal anterior cingulate and the insula during both the heartbreaker-photo-viewing and the scalding-coffee agony。 The images overlapped。""pair-bonding， love， call it what you will， changes the brain。 It changes it in some permanent ways that make us more sensitive to both joy and woe。 It gives us a sense of something more to lose。""The word anxiety， or in German， angst， comes from the Greek word ankho， meaning 'strangle'， and the Latin words angustia， 'tightness'， and angor， 'choking'。""The root of the word betrayal comes from the French verb trair， 'to hand over'， as in handing someone over to the enemy， similar to traitor。 From that we got the Old English word bitrayen， 'to mislead or deceive'。 The be root means 'thoroughly'。""More than ever around the industrialized world， people are living alone， increasing the risk of feeling isolated。"looking at neutral pictures of your ex can show a little rise in dread， so don't follow your ex on socical media"In sum， people who could be described as rebounding tended to have better personal psychological outcomes and valued their new partner more。""But fear often holds women back。 They're taught at an early age that someone is likely to outshine them， rescue them， soothe them， and comfort them if they give up or stay home。""Worth noting is that the girls who identified as 'explorers' had the highest bravery scores， were the most likely to participate in activities， and earned the highest grades in school。"Juliette Gordon Low， a widow who had been unhappily married to a philanderer， founded the Girl Scouts in 1912。"Desolate: forsaken， damaged， lonely。 In the Bible， the word refers to wastelands and also to women abandoned by their husbands。""To venture safely alone as a woman remains the rarest of privileges。""The best antidote to loneliness is mission， not togetherness。""Currently， Cole believes， we're experiencing a clash between health and purpose。 We privilege individual goals over collective goals。""If you walked in here on crutches， I'd be like， What happened and how can I help you？ But with heartbreak， people often just suffer alone。""The gene expression of the involuntarily unemployed looks even worse than that of lonely people， increasing their all-cause risk of death 70 percent during the first year， more than double what it is for the newly divorced。" 。。。more
Nathan Shuherk
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A lot of interesting science blended with a personal memoir of processing grief。 I think people dealing with a divorce or breakup might find this more personable。 The book could’ve been edited down， and the interwoven memoir lacked good， consistent flow。 The book has some fascinating sections， but easily 75 pages too long。 Full review coming on tiktok。Thank you Norton for my arc in exchange for a review。 （3。5）
Casey Witman
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This is the book I wish I had been able to read during and just after my divorce。 Florence Williams writes in an honest and straightforward manner， acknowledging the painful processes that divorce and subsequent recovery required as part of healing。 She incorporates both science and humor along the way， and her sense of adventure and appreciation for the outdoors as a coping method were very relatable and inspirational。 I have recommended this to many friends who will find this book both validat This is the book I wish I had been able to read during and just after my divorce。 Florence Williams writes in an honest and straightforward manner， acknowledging the painful processes that divorce and subsequent recovery required as part of healing。 She incorporates both science and humor along the way， and her sense of adventure and appreciation for the outdoors as a coping method were very relatable and inspirational。 I have recommended this to many friends who will find this book both validating and encouraging。 。。。more
Becky
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Thank you Goodreads for the giveaway arc of this book。 I was already familiar with Florence Williams as I read The Nature Fix last year and really enjoyed。 Her latest book is about Heartbreak， a mix of scientific data and her own life as her 25 year long marriage just ended。 She breaks in down into 3 main parts: Shatter， Alone and Truth Serum。 While I enjoyed her writing style this book was just too heavy and sad for me。 I closed the book at chapter 11。 I might pick it back up another time but f Thank you Goodreads for the giveaway arc of this book。 I was already familiar with Florence Williams as I read The Nature Fix last year and really enjoyed。 Her latest book is about Heartbreak， a mix of scientific data and her own life as her 25 year long marriage just ended。 She breaks in down into 3 main parts: Shatter， Alone and Truth Serum。 While I enjoyed her writing style this book was just too heavy and sad for me。 I closed the book at chapter 11。 I might pick it back up another time but for now I'm done。 If you are currently going through a divorce though， this book may be up your alley。 。。。more
Katherine
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Florence Williams invites us into her shattered world as she explores the physiology and psychology of heartbreak first-hand and through interviews with other sufferers or heartbreak and various trauma。 This well-researched memoir explores several topics while we see our author-narrator navigate her own path toward healing。 A kind of Grieve， Learn， Forgive journey of self-discovery that will leave you smarter and more empathetic to those who need help processing trauma。 A great read whether you Florence Williams invites us into her shattered world as she explores the physiology and psychology of heartbreak first-hand and through interviews with other sufferers or heartbreak and various trauma。 This well-researched memoir explores several topics while we see our author-narrator navigate her own path toward healing。 A kind of Grieve， Learn， Forgive journey of self-discovery that will leave you smarter and more empathetic to those who need help processing trauma。 A great read whether you are trying to figure out your own heartache or help a close one wrestle with theirs。 Heartbreak has a little bit for everyone; drama of trying to mend broken heart and the latest science on bonding and emotional loss。 I couldn't put this gem down。 。。。more
Donna
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Did not finish。
Shannon
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t“It takes a lot of support to heal a heart，” says journalist Florence Williams in her latest book， Heartbreak， A Personal and Scientific Journey。 Support， courage and the skill to write about that journey makes Heartbreak a gripping account of grief and healing。 It is a merging of self-discovery and science that can change the way we think about loneliness and our health。 tAfter twenty-five-years， journalist Williams' marriage unexpectedly fell apart。 Her despair was so severe that she ended up t“It takes a lot of support to heal a heart，” says journalist Florence Williams in her latest book， Heartbreak， A Personal and Scientific Journey。 Support， courage and the skill to write about that journey makes Heartbreak a gripping account of grief and healing。 It is a merging of self-discovery and science that can change the way we think about loneliness and our health。 tAfter twenty-five-years， journalist Williams' marriage unexpectedly fell apart。 Her despair was so severe that she ended up in the hospital， something she would never have imagined。 “Physically， I felt like my body had been plugged into a faulty socket。” Williams had lost weight and stopped sleeping。 Her pancreas wasn't working and she couldn't think straight。 She needed to do something about it。tThis was heartbreak and Williams wanted answers to the “havoc” occurring on her mind and body。 Her first step was to revert to her comfort zone – journalism。 She began by examining something called “social pain，” the way our cells listen to loneliness。 Williams wanted to understand why heartbreak hurts so much。 Searching for understanding and trying out her own personal game plan were her way back to health。 She tested her blood for genetic markers of grief， underwent electrical shock therapy and discovered that our immune cells listen to loneliness。 ttHeartbreak follows a trajectory of heartbreak， from moments of shock to feelings of rejection and loneliness and finally toward some measure of repair。 Williams takes her readers down a path from from neurological research laboratories to a Zen therapist's living room， from divorce workshops to the mountains and rivers that will eventually restore her。 tWilliams book begins with a river and ends with a river。 Williams opening statement is talking about her trying to load it on to the bow of her canoe as she prepares for a solitary trip down the Green River in Utah。 “My biggest problem was the portable toilet。 It was just too heavy。” tHer journey ends on a rainy April day by the shore of the Potomac River。 Purging herself of the of the physical and emotional relics of her marriage， Williams sends her wedding ring floating downstream on a lettuce boat。 tWe have all experienced some form of loss or grief。 In Heartbreak， Williams tackles these tough， complex subjects in an offbeat way。 It is a gripping account of personal grief and self-discovery and is written with warmth， wit and honesty。 She captures the heart of divorce and a different， fresh way to look at recovery。 I found it a powerful book。 tWilliams is a journalist， podcaster and the author of The Nature Fix and Breasts。 She is an editor， freelance author and both a fellow and visiting scholar at George Washington University。 She lives in Washington D。C。 。。。more
Jessy
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“My biggest problem at the moment was the portable toilet。”With a first line like that， how could you not be hooked？ This book balances personal memoir， scientific research， nature， and wry humor。 It’s overlaps with several books I’ve read recently， like Together， but beat them all for me。 Recommend to anyone who has ever loved， lost， or been a human。
Ashleigh
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I received an advance reading copy of this book from BookBrowse。 What was likely a well-intentioned and overarching take on heartbreak， this book read more like a divorce memoir than the expected non-fiction book with anecdotes。 I have never experienced traumatic heartbreak or a divorce and therefore found most of the specifics irrelevant or uninteresting。 And this book was very divorce focused whereas I think “heartbreak” is much more relatable and broad。 While the author did a nice job structu I received an advance reading copy of this book from BookBrowse。 What was likely a well-intentioned and overarching take on heartbreak， this book read more like a divorce memoir than the expected non-fiction book with anecdotes。 I have never experienced traumatic heartbreak or a divorce and therefore found most of the specifics irrelevant or uninteresting。 And this book was very divorce focused whereas I think “heartbreak” is much more relatable and broad。 While the author did a nice job structuring the chapters with various elements （quotes， anecdotes， dialogue with a bit of plot） the “science” piece was severely lacking。 It felt more like a stream of consciousness than a structured “scientific journey”。 That being said， I thoroughly enjoyed many relatable aspects of the author’s personality which shined throughout the book。 。。。more
Charla Wilson
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A Personal Journey toward Healing and Understanding。I found Florence Williams' exploration into the realm of heartache to be enthralling。 She turned her personal heartbreak into a research project that helped her endure the loss。 In an effort to understand the pain associated with heartbreak she left no stone unturned。 I truly appreciate her baring her soul while traveling this path。 A Personal Journey toward Healing and Understanding。I found Florence Williams' exploration into the realm of heartache to be enthralling。 She turned her personal heartbreak into a research project that helped her endure the loss。 In an effort to understand the pain associated with heartbreak she left no stone unturned。 I truly appreciate her baring her soul while traveling this path。 。。。more
Karla
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This book isn’t necessarily one that I would have picked out at this stage in my life but I’m very glad that I got the opportunity to read it as an advance copy。 I really enjoyed how the author wove her personal journey with the science of heartbreak。 I have never personally been through a divorce but I could relate in other ways with what she was saying and I will be using some of her strategies to help with other parts of my life。 It’s a great book for anyone that is looking to understand how This book isn’t necessarily one that I would have picked out at this stage in my life but I’m very glad that I got the opportunity to read it as an advance copy。 I really enjoyed how the author wove her personal journey with the science of heartbreak。 I have never personally been through a divorce but I could relate in other ways with what she was saying and I will be using some of her strategies to help with other parts of my life。 It’s a great book for anyone that is looking to understand how love and loss impacts so much of how our bodies work。 Everything is connected and I’m so thankful that we have scientists to help us unravel the wonders of being alive。 。。。more
Barbara
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I won this book through a Goodreads Giveaway。 Thank you。
Ms。 G
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